Harry Potter and the Trinity of Faeries
by FireBrimstoneShadow
Summary: The duel with Voldemort in Harry's fourth year makes him learn more about what happened the night he got his scar and the unexpected results. Now he has to deal with insane new friends, new magic, people to avoid, pranks and maybe even a new love?
1. Fairy Godmothers

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shugo Chara or anything else that seems like you've seen it in the main stream!

Summary: The duel with Voldemort in Harry's fourth year makes him learn more about what happened the night he got his scar and the unexpected results. Now he has to deal with insane new friends, new magic, people to avoid, pranks and maybe even a new love?

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Chapter One

Faerie Godmothers

--

Harry was always a very special boy. No one would argue that fact. What with the Boy-who-lived stigma, fighting the dark lord four times already, being the youngest seeker in a century, etc. However, that is just what everyone else sees. What is invisible is even more unique.

When the dark lord came to his house that fateful night, no one expected the results. Lily Potter was an intelligent woman and researched spells that could help her child live. The problem was not that, but what happens when all the protective spells are put together. The killing curse acted as a catalyst and created something. Faeries. Not the common fairies that are told to children- magical and muggle alike. These were mischievous to the point of psychosis and very loyal to their boy. They gained knowledge so they could protect him. Nevertheless, he never knew, he never saw, and he never suspected that these three were his perpetual friends.

Since the duel with Voldemort, Harry began to see flashes of light and movement but every time he turned, nothing was there. He never said anything because he knew how easily peoples' minds change. They would think he was crazy and that was all he needed.

As Harry gets on the train to begin his fifth year at Hogwarts, something starts to bother him. The compartment is too hot. There is no reason for him to be there so he flees to the bathroom leaving his friends bewildered. He washes his face with a splash of water. He starts to feel less aggravated; the heat is gone. As he is patting his face dry, giggles surround him. Harry thinks he accidentally went into the girl's loo but sees the urinals. So instead, he searches for the source of the sound. There resting on both of his shoulders and atop his head are little woman.

One was a beautiful mesh of greens and browns as if she belonged in a woodland area. Her eyes were an intense blue and had no pupils. Leaves were fixed on her back like wings. Looking closer, Harry sees that, in fact, they are workable wings. She was perched precariously on his left shoulder.

The one on his right shoulder lounging was a creature in a swirl of blue. Her wings seemed to be made of water and constantly separated and joined in a hypnotic dance never once stopping. Her eyes were a soft hazel that seemed to analyze every action and plan for a reaction.

The one on top of his head seemed set on a frivolous task- straightening his hair, one piece at a time. The tiny woman was hidden in his wild hair. From what he could take in, she was glowing with a blazing aura. He could see the wings fairly well and saw that they looked like molten lava. That should not be possible. Then again, none of this should be possible. Oh wait, magic...

A tiny head popped up from the mass of untamable locks. Harry saw her eyes were a strange shade of purple. They seemed unearthly. She glared at him as if to say 'What are you looking at?' The earthy one gave out a high-pitched giggle again.

"Oh his face is so priceless. I wish we had that camera." Her voice was rich and creamy sounding. Harry was not expecting that.

"I think when we have the opportunity we should find a good buyer like that blond dragon boy. He watches Harry like he wants to chase the snitch if you catch my drift." The fiery one spoke up in a passionate yet dry voice. _How did she manage that?_ Harry thought.

"He can understand you, you do realize." The calming monotone of the blue female pointed out as she continued to lounge lazily. The green one fell off his shoulder in apparent shock. Harry snatches her out of the air with quidditch-honed reflexes.

She was as tall as the length from the end of his palm to the tip of his middle finger. He also noted that in the moving mass of brown and green hair were animal ears. As she situated herself to sit down on his hand, she moved her tail to a more comfortable position.

The burning one flew off her perch and landed on the faucet. She stuck her hand out at Harry. He just stared at it wondering what she was doing.

"Fine, don't shake my hand. The name's Carrie.(1) I'm the blunt, creative, and distracting one here!" She exclaimed with a wry grin upon her bizarre face. "Nice to finally have you see us."

The azure, winged girl flies down as the green individual begins her introduction. She lands on the countertop and starts to look for something. Her face explodes with an unholy gleam and brings a book forth.

"Hi. I'm Gia. I'm the theatrical, optimistic one. If you need help with love or want encouragement, I'm your girl.I give Carrie a run for her money for the title of most random." Gia gives an exaggerated bow then flies over to the book-reading woman and nudges her.

"Fine, fine! I'm ­­­­­­­­­­­­­Sage. I'm the reasonable one. I'll be pointing out your flaws with glee and telling you what you should be doing. I will not be like that NAG however. She is unbecoming and uncouth." She said in a bored tone. "Also, if you are wondering we are faeries. We aren't seen usually by mortals and act differently than fairies. Silly beings."

"How, what, I don't understand." Harry blathered out.

"I think we should get back to the compartment. Ah. It seems as if they sent the troops on a rescue mission to save their helpless savior." Carrie says ruefully and shifts into an overly dramatic pose. "Oh woe! What would our poor savior do without his amazing friends?"

The other two snickered and Gia moves over to settle on the faucet too. They went into a short skit including random dialogue and lighthearted antics. The sarcasm was not missed by Harry. He might seem dense but that was just an act. He started to think about his friends' actions and words. The three stopped their playful rendition of his life and told him now would be the perfect time to go back.

As Harry opens the door to the hallway, he is immediately accosted by his redheaded friend. He looked short of breath and frantic.

"Hey where have you been? And who were you talking to?" Ron looks around the loo suspiciously.

"What a brute, that one! However, he should note: curiosity killed the kitty." Carrie declares maliciously. Her wolf ears twitch and her panther tail swings with mirth.

Sage turns to Harry and dolefully tells him, "You might want to watch _them_ more closely. Perhaps as closely as they watch you." Harry could almost see the italics on the word 'them.'

"Dare you to say your fairy godparents." Gia says impishly.

"My fairy godparents, Ron." Harry says as dryly as he could. He glances about the hallway. Apparently, his "friends" were making a huge ordeal out of him running out of the compartment.

"Harry, don't confuse Ron with muggle sayings, honestly." Hermione exasperatedly scolds. Harry only raises an eyebrow to that and exchanges looks with the three flouting beside him. Hermione continues, "Well now that we found you, you should go back to the compartment. Ron and I are going to the Prefect meeting."

Harry ambles slowly toward the compartment analyzing the conversation he just had. The three faeries made crude jokes the whole way. Harry opens the door and sees three new sets of eyes turn to him- Neville, Luna, and Ginny.

"Where's the other two?" Ginny looks around him. She seemed to fake curiosity.

"They had to go to their Prefect meeting." Harry informs her.

"Ahh, a bit of a break finally." Ginny lets out a sigh of relief. Luna continues to read her newspaper upside down and Neville just gives a quirky smile. "Sorry but those two were starting to get on my nerves. I was so close to cursing Ron with the bat bogey if he kept going on and on about him getting Prefect with his lovely Hermione. He's almost worse than Percy. Ugh, gag me with a wand!(2)"

The four chatted amicably about their summers. The three gryffindors drew Luna into their conversation; she added something entertaining to the banter. Hermione and Ron came back, which added a certain amount of tension. They kept bothering Harry for information on why he left so suddenly. Harry began to sharpen his evading skills. Gia, Sage, and Carrie all approved of his efforts.

After what seemed like a lifetime to all the sane people in the compartment, the train pulled into the station. _Couldn't have been sooner! _Harry cries in his head. The faeries giggle at that. _You can hear me._ The three bob their heads in agreement. _This year will be just as crazy as the other years it seems- if not crazier._ He turns to stare at Hogwarts.

--

Special Notes:

(1) Carrie the movie. She seems innocent but turns psycho.

(2) I had to do that. It seemed so perfect. Hahaha "gag me with a spoon." I could just see Ginny being a bit of a wizarding Valley Girl.


	2. Glitter?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shugo Chara or anything else that seems like you've seen it in the main stream!

Summary: The duel with Voldemort in Harry's fourth year began a chaotic chapter in Harry's life. He learns more of what happens the night he got his scar and the unexpected circumstances that unfolded.

Notes: Well I just realized that Harry seemed familiar with Luna, Ginny, and Neville. To explain this, they talked some before Harry had his "hot flash" and Harry didn't want to speak with Hermione and Ron anymore.

Also this will become a Draco/Harry fic as requested. Hopefully it'll be a good one. ;)

One last note: Sorry for all my crazy typos. I wrote that really late at night as a joke to my friend and I didn't have her look it over. So this one will be scrutinized more.

"**Faerie talking"**

**"**_**Harry thinking to the faeries"**_

--

Chapter Two

Glitter?!

--

"**Wow it's like the retarded ballet**."(1)

Harry stops to watch the chaos of the upper levels jockeying for a place in a carriage. Luckily the mess was far from bad since no one had their animals or luggage with them. He could pick out the unsorted first years by how lost and pale they were. Luckily Hagrid was walking to round up the firsties like he usually does. Somehow the sight of the giant didn't comfort some of them as they seemed to get paler.

"**You shouldn't say that Sage!" **Gia admonishes though Harry could see that she agreed with the thought.

"**Hmmm Harry, you should really start getting into a carriage otherwise you'll be left to walk to the feast. I'm sure Mims would get angry if you did that**." Carrie points out.

"_**Mims**__?_" Harry questions silently.

"**McGonagall**" was the swift answer followed by a "**You really should hurry**."

At the urgings of his new friends, he found the carriage his friends were in. Getting in he noticed some odd looking horses. They were bony and had scales instead of hair. "Woah, I thought these were horseless carriages. When did they start using horses?"

"What are you talking about, Harry? There is nothing in front of the carriages. Are you feeling ok? Should we go see Madame Pomfrey? Oh Ha-" Hermione starts to babble.

"You could ask the nargles that are sitting on your shoulders but I don't know if you can hear their answers. They only talk to people who believe in Ishkabibbles. Those are thestrals and you can only--" Luna started to say.

"--See them when you see someone die. I've read about these in some books. Oh Harry dear can you see them because..." Hermione trailed off. The atmosphere in the carriage became tense.

"**That bitch! Who is she to cut off someone!" **Carrie bit out.

"**Who? Luna?" **Sage queries.

"**No, that bookworm. Gosh she's so uppity. I think it's because she needs to get shagged and thoroughly**." Harry starts to turn red because he is having a hard time containing his laughter. The others see the look and mistake it as him getting angry at Hermione.

"Harry, mate, Hermione is just concerned for your health no need to get angry at her!" Ron starts to get angry and yell. Ginny and Neville reach for their wands in case something happens. Luna sits with the Quibbler upside down in her hands. If Harry looked closely, he could see that she too was holding in her mirth.

"Harry, you really aren't helping the situation." Hermione turns to Harry who is still trying not to laugh. The faeries didn't stop their unseemly commentary when Ron blew up; in fact, it got progressively worse. They started to debate whether or not Hermione was an exhibitionist. The carriage stopped before Hermione could continue fussing and Harry steps out of the carriage with the faeries floating beside him. No matter how many times he looks at the castle, he still sees the magic of it. He was home.

"Another year at Hogwarts. Well let's get to the feast and then we can see if Madame Pomfrey will see Harry." Hermione cuts through Harry's pleasant mood. The faeries glare at her for disturbing Harry's trip down memory lane.

"**Oooooooo if only we could do magic to hum--AAACCHHOOO**" The little green woman careens a foot away from Harry from the force of her sneeze.

"**Gia, are you ok?" **Sage asks.

"**Yeah. I'm fine. Carrie, are you ok?" **The two faeries and Harry look at Carrie who is laughing hysterically and pointing at something. They turn to whatever was making her laugh that hard. It was Hermione or at least that's what they thought it was. "_**What did you do**__?!"_

There standing on the steps of Hogwarts was a giant squirrel. Harry could tell she was still lecturing although she spoke in squeeks. The fur on her body was black like the robes she had on. Her tail though was her original hair color and it was just as frizzy. The two-toned squirrel finally realized that everyone was looking at her but not listening to her. In fact, it seemed that they were gawking at her. Why would they be staring at her? What could possibly be--? The resulting squeek/squeal will haunt students' dreams for many years to come.

Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape both came hurtling out of the castle to investigate the sound. Both were expecting some sort of fight or injured animal. Neither were expecting a student transfigured into a giant squirrel. It took them both a few moments to collect their thoughts. The two teachers asked everyone what had happened. Nobody had a definite answer. One moment she was talking like she usually did and then poof she was a squirrel. No one saw a hand grab for a wand or a jet of light. Some hinted that Harry had something to do with it since the "arguement" in the carriage wasn't that quiet. The Weasley twins were so disappointed they didn't think of this sooner and started to plot a new prank.

McGonagall tried a few spells to reverse the damage but each one failed. Hermione was starting to get hysterical. The other students were ushered inside by other teachers that came to investigate what was taking so long. Snape was forced to take the distraught squirrel girl to the Hospital wing. McGonagall would have taken her student but the fact was that she could not abandon her duties as deputy headmistress. She had to welcome the new first years.

During the whole brouhaha, Harry was trying to figure out what happened with his faeries. They didn't even know what was going on. In all the fifteen years they were alive, never had they been allowed to do magic that would effect humans. The worst part was that Harry could not ask anyone what could be happening. After all, these were the first ever faeries.

"_**The school hasn't even begun and already it's crazy. What else can happen tonight**_**?" **Harry thinks towards his fluttery friends. The students all get settled into their tables though Harry could see everyone still wondering what happened outside. Ron decided to go to Hermione's bedside instead of going to the feast. Ginny thought that this was just a way for Ron to get food from the house elves and not wait during the welcoming speech.

So there Harry sat, with Neville and Ginny waiting for McGonagall to arrive. It didn't take too long for all the first years to walk in and get sorted. It went faster for Harry because he was listening to the three women puzzle out what happened. Carrie had outrageous ideas ranging from latent energy in the ley lines to plaid squirrels wanting their revenge on the world. Sage thought that they could do magic since Harry could see them now. Gia just agreed with Sage but encouraged Carrie to come up with more outlandish remarks.

Dumbledore started his usual speech about what is and isn't out of bounds. A soft cough interrupts him. He tries to continue but the cough interrupts him again. He concedes his rights to the welcoming speech. A toady woman appears from behind the teacher's table.

"**Oh gosh, she looks like toad that mated with a human. I would have called her a weretoad but it's not the right time of month for that. Unless she is the leader of the weretoads and then we have a weretoad infestation. I guess that means we must eradicate the problem."**

"**Carrie, do we need to have a talk about how inner thoughts need to stay inner thoughts?"** Gia asks.

"**Hey, you're all thinking it. I'm just saying it."**

** "I give up."**

** "**_**I actually have to agree with Carrie on this one. She is quite toady."**_

** "Ha, Harry thinks I'm right!"**

** "Shush all of you! I'm trying to listen to this!" **Sage tries to listen to what the new DADA teacher, Umbridge, is saying.

** "Why?"**

** "Future ammunition."**

** "Ooooooo. I like that idea." **Carrie thinks for a moment.** "Is it just me or does she like the type that would dump glitter in the toilet just to make it seem like she would be all sunshine, glitter, and happiness?"**

** "Where do you come up with these ideas?"**

** "**_**Glitter?! In the loo! Gross, now I have a bad mental image. Thanks."**_

"**You're welcome"**

** "**_**I was being sarcastic"**_

** "I know"**

"Harry are you feeling ok? Maybe you should see Madame Pomfrey. You're looking a little bit peaky." Neville and Ginny look concerned at their friend's health.

"No, it's fine. I just don't like glitter right now" responds Harry. Both Ginny and Neville mouth the word "glitter" at each other and shrug. The rest of the feast went as it usually did. The three talked for a while before the twins came around to harass them about their thoughts on what happened with Hermione. The twins seemed to think that some new prankster was moving onto their turf. The trio waved them off with a promise that if they found anything they'd tell the mischevious duo. By the time they got rid of the twins, it was time to go to the dorms. None of them were chosen to be prefects so they didn't have to deal with the first years. As Harry got into the dormroom with Neville, both of them realized that Hermione and Ron still weren't back.

"**That is some powerful magic you got there Gia!" **Carrie starts to swish her tail and twitch her ears. Harry was beginning to see that when that happens is when trouble is about to start.

"**Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Carrie? Gia?"**

** "Oh, yes I think we are. So begins our quest to eradicate the weretoad and bring 'joy' to the world"**

** "**_**Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"**_

** "Don't worry Harry, we won't let them catch you"**

** "**_**Oh ok. Well then what's the plan?"**_

--

1) My friend actually said this when everyone was havin issues backing out of a parking lot.

Ok so no Draco yet. He hasn't been bothering Harry on the train or during the welcoming feast. What is the world coming to? I'll have him come in during the next chapter.

Review please! I dunno if you like it or not. I'll accept happy reviews, apathetic reviews, and flames. Nothing like flames to roast marshmellows on. Mmmm smores.


	3. Nargles and Turtles

Thank you to all my awesome readers and reviewers and people that favorite me and put me on their alerts. It makes me feel special. Though I'm suprised I got no flames...oh well, no smores this time. I wonder does anyone read these top things anymore?

Oh and special note: I redid some of chapter one. If it needs more revision or clarification please tell me. I'll edit it.

_**"Faeries talking to Harry/Luna"**_

**"Harry mindtalking to the faeries"**

**"**_Neville's internal thoughts"_

--

**Chapter Three**

**Nargles and Turtles**

--

The day started normally, well as normal as it could for Harry Potter. His faeries woke him up with their arguement about magic's fetish with lace, leather, and latex. There was also something mentioned about school girls. Harry decided he didn't want to know what the whole conversation was like.

It was only the second day at Hogwarts and things were going great for Harry. His friends didn't hound him about his summer too much and Malfoy hadn't bothered him yet. Actually now that he thought about it, Malfoy not bothering him was a bad thing. It must mean he is planning something.

_**"Yeah, Harry, planning to get into your pants**_." Apparently the faeries had stopped their conversation to listen to what Harry was thinking.

**"My pants?! I don't think I want to know his plans anymore."**

_**"Ooooo how romantic. You want to be suprised."**_ Gia swooned in a over dramatic fashion.

**"This is going to take some getting used to." **Harry thought as he got ready for his day. The faeries just snickered. "**Speaking of getting used to, did you ever figure out how you are capable of magic now?"**

_**"We were always capable of magic, just not on humans."**_ Sage points out.

**"Ok then. I guess I won't be getting the answer to that question anytime soon."** Harry could see that Sage was irritated with the lack of knowledge on this subject. What he couldn't tell was if she was mad at him or the situation. He decided to let sleeping dragons lie.

By the time Harry was done "talking" with his faeries, he was already walking out of the portrait hole. Ginny and Neville caught up to him and they all made their way down to get some breakfast in the Great Hall. As they entered the massive room, they could hear the rumors about what happened with Hermione the night before. A few students thought that the Weasley twins were the ones that did it but cleverly covered it up. Most, however, thought that it was Harry though no one could figure out how he did it. The faeries laughed and fake sneezed. Harry smiled at their inside joke which caused Ginny and Neville to share a look. They seemed to be doing that alot.

"So Harry, what do you think happened to Hermione?" Ginny asked. Luna randomly came to sit beside the trio at the table. (AN: Neville and Ginny are sitting on one side and Luna and Harry on the other.)

"Luna, you do realize this is the Gryffindor table right?" Harry asked, trying to avoid the question.

"Yes I do, Harry. There is nothing that says I cannot eat here. I wanted to see the nargles this morning."

"Harry, don't avoid the question. And Luna's right, there is nothing to say that she can't sit here."

"Good point."

"Now stop avoiding the question, Harry! I know you have something to do with it and you avoiding it just confirms that."

"If a butterfly flaps his wings in Beijin in March, then, by August, hurricane patterns in the Atlantic will be competely different.(1)" Harry said with the hope that she would get confused and stop asking. He had heard it when he was listening for any news about the Wizarding World on the telly at his relatives house.

"WHAT??"

"I think what Harry means is 'When a nargle sneezes after being seen, then it's magic will start to effect humans'"

"Neither of you are making any sense." Ginny looked at the two of them with a resigned look. "Fine, I give up. But one day, you'll have to include Neville and I."

"Oh ho! What have we got here, dear brother of mine?"

"It looks like conspiritors trying to out do us!" The Weasley twins snuck up behind them and nicked some of the food from their plates.

"Hey watch it! And I was eating that! We weren't plotting anything. We were just trying to get Harry to tell us how he did it." Ginny griped at her brothers.

The faeries had stayed quiet up until now. Harry had almost forgotten about them. Apparently sibling rivalry isn't fun for them to watch so they decided to start their own amusement-getting Harry to laugh at "nothing."

_**"Don't they know that a magician, like a prostitute, never reveals her tricks?"**_

_**"Ahh dear sister, just remember that a prostitute has to reveal all her tricks to do her job properly."**_ Carrie answers Gia.

_**"Thank goodness I'm a magician. Otherwise I'd have no more tricks!"**_

_**"That or you wouldn't be that great of a prostitute."**_ By this time, Harry and Luna were trying to hold in their laughter. Poor Neville looked lost between the squabbling siblings and the duo sitting across from him that looked on the verge of tears. Luckily Neville was saved from further awkardness by McGonagall. She came around to hand out the timetables.

"Ms. Lovegood, why are you sitting at the Gryffindor table and not at the Ravenclaw table?"

"The nargles amuse me with their conversations. It's not my fault that they like to hang around Harry Potter."

_**"Mims is about to start lecturing. Better start phase one of the plan."**_ Sage whispers in Harry's ear. "_**Distract her with something extremely random. Carrie, help him out."**_

_**"Don't put me on the spot like this! Fine fine. Ummm."**_

_**"Hurry up, Carrie."**_ Gia jumps up and down on Harry's shoulder (2) waiting to see what mischief would happen.

**"Seriously, Carrie, it can't be that bad. Just say something. I'll run with it."**

_**"Fine. Turtles know the secret to the universe."**_

**"What? Well I did say I'd run with anything."**

"Turtles." Everyone stops.

"Turtles, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall is frozen in her pre-lecture pose, shocked at what one of her students just randomly said.

"Yes, turtles apparently know the answers to the universe."

"What does this have to do with Ms. Lovegood sitting at the Gryffindor table?"

"Well nothing, but apparently the price isn't worth talking with the turtles. Honestly, what's the point of knowing the secret of the...gah" The faeries poke Harry in his side. Hard. They put a finger to their lips and snicker.

"The secret of the what, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall was now peering down at him with a stern expression.

"What were we talking about?" Harry takes the faeries' advice and plays it dumb.

"Mr. Potter, this is not the time for pranks. Honestly, you're starting to become like your father!" McGonagall starts to go off on a fond tangent about the Marauders. The students tune her out after a couple of minutes.

"Turtles knowing the secret of the...gah." Neville decided to answer Harry's question. "Personally I think knowing the secret of gah would be pointless. But they are turtles and they seem to know...gah!"

Neville gets cut off of by a sharp jab to his side. He looked around and nothing was there. _What is going on here?_

"Yes! See, they gah!" Neville noticed that Harry flinched before saying 'gah'. _Harry knows what's going on, but he isn't saying. I want to know but I'm not going to be like that squirrel or Ron. Honestly, what were they thinking? Harry has done nothing but be nice to them and they sell him out to Dumbledore. He tried to get me to befriend Harry for a load of money and a bunch of magical tutoring. Friendship over selling out. I was taught better morals than those two apparently. Then again, the rest of the Weasleys are moral people. I wonder how Ron turned out to be a bad apple. Oooo apple, yum._

While Neville was having his lovely inner monologue, the conversation continued on without him.

"Are you ok, Harry?" Ginny asked after noticing the flinch too. The Weasley twins had decided to stop pestering their classmates and settle down to breakfast beside them.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Potter" All six whirl around to see...not Malfoy. Just some random Slytherin trying to be like Malfoy. He was even flanked by two nethandertal-like boys. The sextet looked past the boy towards the Slyterin table to search for Malfoy. They found him staring at his toast. Apparently he wasn't a morning person. No one really knew that. They collectively shook their heads and looked the the wannabes in front of them. Apparently the trio didn't care about starting problems in front of a teacher. Then again, the teacher was still trapped in her tangent. (AN: shouldn't she be handing out timetables?)

The smug boy took their silence to be something akin to awe. "I see you are stunned by what a real pureblood is supposed to be like. My name is..."

_**"Ratigan!"**_(3) Carrie screams out.

_**"Bond, James Bond."**_(4) Gia says as sauvely as possible.

_**"Oooo, I think Gia has you beat on this one, Carrie." **_Sage says applauding Gia.

_**"I guess you can't win them all." **_Carrie admits her defeat.

"So anyways about the turtles. We never really resolved that topic did we?" Harry says to the people sitting at the table, effectively cutting off the Slytherin. Inwardly, he was laughing at what the faeries were saying but he was getting better at keeping it internal. He was also getting better at listening to them and his friends at the same time which is good in his opinion so he doesn't space out so much.

"You're right, Harry. The nargles were the ones to say that, weren't they? So they should be able to tell us about the turtles." Luna dreamly answers. The others just stare at her.

"Nargles?" The Weasley twins simultaneously ask.

"Yes, apparently Mr. Potter has nargles that follow him." McGonagall finally ended her tangent. "Since there are no rules that say you must sit at your house table, Ms. Lovegood, you are free to sit here." She finally goes to hand out the rest of the timetables. Luckily no one had classes that day; otherwise, they would have been late.

"Nargles and turtles won't save you from the Dark Lord, Potter." The cocky Slyterin tried again to slight Harry like Malfoy always does. Unfortunately he said that statement louder than he should have. The Great Hall sat in stunned silence at what the Slytherin said. He thought he finally got the respect he deserved. Everybody recovered from their shock over the absurd comment and began to laugh. Even the Slyterins chuckled at the stupidity of their housemate.

"He-hem" Before the Slytherin could do some damage control, the new DADA teacher came up to stop the commotion. "What seems to be the problem here, Mr...?"

The Slytherin looked happy to be acknowledged by the Ministry official. He puffed up his chest to look more important. "My name is--"

"Madame Umbridge, how are you doing this morning?" The boy deflates as the Headmaster comes up to greet the new teacher.

"I was just trying to stop the situation from getting out of control. Mr. Potter was antagonizing this boy" "My name is--" "and I just wanted to make sure that the students are protected" _from him_ was left unsaid yet everyone could hear it.

"I said my name is--"

"I commend you, Professor, for taking your job so seriously." The students could see him straining to say that. "Shall we move on from this and proceed to breakfast, since the matter is resolved? The house elves outdo themselves during the first week of school."

"Very well, Headmaster" She says in a sugar-coated voice. As she passes Harry she whispers, "This isn't over yet. I know you are up to something, you delusional boy."

The professors made their way up to the teacher's table. The group of Gryffindors plus Luna were down with their meal by the end of all the commotion. The Weasley twins went to bother Katie and Angelina about Quidditch. The Slytherin boy made several more attempts to say his name and to threaten Harry; all were thwarted or ignored.

The Gryffindors decided to relax by the lake for the rest of the day and visit the two in the hospital wing since Luna wanted to go find her trunk. She said she didn't need any help finding it. She said: _It always turns up when you least expects it to._

The Hospital Wing

Hermione still looked like a squirrel. Madame Pomfrey couldn't figure out how to reverse the magic. She had tried many different potions and was having Snape create some more. Some of the potions had a very interesting effect on the girl though. Madame Pomfrey was writing everything down in case she ever wanted to create a case study. When Hermione drank some Dreamless Sleep potion, she went completely hyper active. It took some heavy sedatives and two people to get her to calm down. The effects of the sedative were wearing off when Harry, Ginny and Neville came to visit.

Hermione was going into lecture mode again when she saw them. Ron was passed out in a bed with horrible scratch marks on him. Apparently he was one of the unfortunate ones to help Madame Pomfrey.

_**"Harry, I want you to say to Hermione: "Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeaker, squeakin'"**_(5)"

**"And what does that mean, Carrie?"**

_**"You owe me a new acorn."**_

**"Do you really think she'll understand that? It could seem like I'm mocking her."**

_**"Just try it."**_

**"Fine."**

"Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeaker, squeakin'." Everyone just stares at him. "What? I'm trying out my squirrel speak on her."

Hermione squeaked back at him.

**"What did she say?"**

_**"She's asking why she owes you a new acorn. Repeat after me:"**_

"Squeak, squeakin', squeak, squeakity. Squeaker, squeak, squeak, squeakin'?" Hermione just sighs and runs to the window. Madame Pomfrey lunges to catch her. Hermione was too fast with her squirrelly senses and abilities. Madame Pomfrey turns to Harry.

"What did you say to her, Mr. Potter?"

**"What **_**did**_** I say to her, Carrie?"**

_**"My acorn is missing. Did you eat the acorn?"**_ Harry tells Madame Pomfrey what he said.

"Why would you tell her that?"

"That's all the squirrel I know. I didn't think she would actually understand me."

_**"Tell her that you tried on the neighborhood squirrels but all they did was look at you and give you an acorn. Play it off if you can."**_

"Madame Pomfrey, I tried these phrases on the neighborhood squirrels but all they did was look at me and give me an acorn."

"So what you are telling me, Mr. Potter, is that you not only talk with snakes but you can talk with squirrels? Where do you think she went?"

"She might have gone to get me an acorn?" Hermione decides to make a grand entrance to announce her success at scouring the forest floor for the perfect acorn. Hermione had always seen Harry playing with a golden acorn so she needed to find something even better. (AN: yay squirrelly instints) She had to fight off some other beasties to get it but Harry said someone ate the other one. Who would eat a gold acorn? It's not that tasty!

_**"Maybe we should figure out how to change her back."**_ Sage says as the faeries watch as Hermione practically shoves the head-sized acorn into Harry's mouth. _**"That has got to hurt."**_

After assuring Hermione that the acorn was perfect, the trio tried to leave the Hospital wing. They were stopped first by Ron asking what was going on. Madame Pomfrey told him the story and gave him some more potions. Luckily, it seemed he was healing and didn't contract rabies. They tried to leave again but were stopped by Madame Pomfrey.

"I want you to learn more squirrel in case we cannot change her back. She still needs to attend her lessons. We'll wait a week but if you could learn that language it would help the teachers."

"Potter? Help the teachers?" Snape came up behind the group startling everyone. He had more potions. "What's he doing to _help_ teachers now?"

"I"m asking him to learn more squirrel speech so that he can translate in case we can't change Ms. Granger back before week's end. You know she wouldn't want to miss too much class."

"Potter knows how to communicate with squirrels? What next? Turtle or perhaps phoenix?" Snape scoffs. The three Gryffindors snicker at the turtle comment. Snape fixes them with a glare. "Leave my sight or I will deduct points for blocking the hallways."

The trio go back to the tower in a good mood. They didn't get points deducted-only because Madame Pomfrey was there watching- and Harry got a new acorn. He was tossing it around with Ginny. "And chaser Weasley shoots for the goal and BAM blocked by Keeper Potter. The crowds go wild." says Neville as he narrates their imaginary Quidditch match. None of them noticed the shadow that was stalking them but the faeries did.

_**"Part one of the plan is complete" **_Sage whispers to her sisters.

_**"The toad is going down. Slytherin style."**_

_**"So step one is to convince people that Harry is slightly not all there. But didn't they already due to the drivel they printed in the gossip column in the Daily Prophet?"**_ Gia asks softly.

_**"Hence why it's slytherin style. Use what you are given and warp it to help you, not hinder you."**_

_**"Carrie is right. Think about it, Gia. If people think that Harry isn't all there, he can get away with a lot more. We learned that from Luna. The good thing is that Harry is getting some solid support with his new people. We need to figure out how to use our powers. The nag-squirrel and the red pig are our guinea pigs. Then we can do pranks to cover our tracks. Not only do we need to get rid of the weretoad, that beast that created us needs to go too."**_

_**"He looks like he put a condom on the wrong head." **_Carrie tries to lighten the mood a bit. The other two look at her, then each other, and all three burst out in hysterics.

Harry had just opened the portrait hole when he heard that laughter. "**Having fun there, ladies?"**

_**"We're just discussing the merits of--" **_Carrie began to say.

_**"You don't wanna know Harry. Just know that we're going to help you with all this. The weretoad and condomhead are going down." **_Gia informs him.

"**Condomhead? Do you mean rubbers? That would mean..."** Harry couldn't hold in his laughter anymore and falls to the Common room floor in tears laughing at the hilarity of it all.

_**"That could not have been planned better!"**_ Carrie says gleefully. Her tail swishing behind her.

_**"What do you mean?"**_ Sage asks.

_**"Well we wanted people to think he's insane. He just fell to the floor, in tears, he's laughing so hard. To them it's at nothing. And he's babbling about a 'Rubberhead.' He'll need to explain this to the others but this was perfect."**_

_**"I see your point."**_ Later that night, after Harry calmed down a bit, he explained the cause of his insanity. Ginny and Neville did the exact same thing that Sage and Gia did but added the Harry response to it. The rest of the Gryffindors just eyed them like they were crazy.

The day finally ended for everybody. Hermione finally was given some potions to keep her calm. Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape were in their respective rooms trying to numb the pain of getting a rampant squirrel to take some potions. Ron was still sleeping in the Hospital Wing beds. The Weasley twins were planning a new prank probably against Snape or Umbridge-they didn't like her already. Professor Umbridge was planning the take over of the school. The rest of the students were just sleeping, sad that the next day would be the start of classes. The faeries, however, were discussing the shadow that was stalking their boy.

_**"Should we help him win our boy?"**_ Carrie asks the others.

_**"It's like a storybook romance. Boy meets boy. Boy aggrivates boy. Boy teases boy. Boy actually loves boy. Awwwww."**_ Gia swoons over dramatically again.

_**"You know, I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not. Anyways, we'll have to see what his plans are and if we can help them. Hopefully they aren't stupid plans."**_ Sage hopes. _**"If worst comes to worst, we can always set Harry up with Luna..."**_

_**"We'll see. We'll see. Though if he doesn't do something soon, we are soo pranking him" **_Carrie says mischieviously. Gia nods with a sinister grin on her face.

"_**Poor Malfoy. He doesn't know what he's getting into.**_" Sage says sagely. (AN: I couldn't resist that one)

--

(1) This is the chaos theory/ butterfly effect.

(2) They were sitting like they were when Harry first saw them. That's how they'll usually be unless I say they are floating.

(3) From the Great Mouse Detective. I still love that movie. And it's plausible to say in this fic since it was made in 1986 so don't try to catch me on crazy technicalities. Nya!

(4) Thanks Kayla!

(5) from Emperor's New Groove.

Thanks for reading this again! I like reviewers and people that favorite me and people that put me on "alert". The people that flame are ok since I still want those smores. Yummm.


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